Season 3, Episode 15 - Accidents Will Happen, Part 2

Original Airdate - February 9th, 2003

Make sure you check out part 1

Manny and Craig walk down the hallway looking cozy and talking about the baby’s gender. Ellie and Paige see them, see them kiss, and can’t believe what they’re watching. Paige approaches Manny and asks about the condom situation. Manny’s answers are vague, but not too vague to clue Paige into what’s happening.

Ellie tells Ashley and Ashley complains to Paige. Paige can’t stop herself telling Ashley that she thinks Manny is pregnant. Ashley walks up on the reunited couple in the cafeteria. Craig has just brought Manny a baby name book. Ashley sees it and flips. She tells the entire cafeteria that Craig got Manny pregnant. Not the most feminist of actions, but I get it!

Manny runs to the bathroom, embarrassed. She’s hiding when Terri and Paige walk in, talking about her. Manny is hurt because Paige shares her true feelings on Manny getting pregnant — It’s stupid and Manny is going to ruin her life. When Paige and Terri leave, Emma slips in. She tells Manny she wish Manny had told her, and says that she and Craig should come hang out with her and Jack that afternoon.

My number one ship for early Degrassi will always be the Manny and Emma friendship. These girls really do go through the ringer with each other, and I love every time the show reminds us how much deep care there is between them. My Brilliant Friend Canada edition.

At the Nelson/Simpson house, Craig coos over Jack as Emma shows Manny a pregnancy book. Manny is clearly a little weirded out about what’s going to happen to her body. Jack needs a diaper change as the doorbell rings. Emma leaves it to Craig and Manny and goes to meet Chris outside. They listen on the baby monitor as Craig and Manny totally fail to change the diaper.

Emma comes in to help. Two things are very clear. First, Manny and Craig are in way over their head. Second, Manny doesn’t seem that interested in figuring it out.

Craig, however, is obsessed. The next day at school, Spinner corners him and asks what he’s thinking. He doesn’t want to give up his life to be a dad, right? But Craig says that’s exactly what he wants. He has no family of his own, in his mind, and Manny and the baby are his.

Manny skips school to go to Christine, who welcomes her warmly. She asks Christine to give her the honest truth about what it’s like being a single teen mother, and Christine does. It’s brutal and difficult and requires a lot of sacrifice. When Christine describes the parts that made it worth it for her, Manny doesn’t seem interested.

Manny admits that she doesn’t think she wants this, but Craig really does. Christine is a badass and tells her that at the end of the day, the responsibility for the choice falls on her alone, so no one gets to decide what to do except Manny.

Manny decides it’s time to tell her mother. There’s a moment of shock, but Mrs. Santos ultimately comforts Manny. Manny says that she refuses to be sent away, but also doesn’t think she can go through with all of this. Her mother understands.

She returns to Emma to update both Nelsons on her decision. She avoids telling Emma for a moment, but finally says what the episode has been dancing around. Manny is getting an abortion.

We’ve talked about this before, but for all of her progressivism, Emma is a little close-minded about abortion. Emma believes that most abortion advocates would have encouraged her mother to get an abortion, and Emma is glad that she is alive. Emma tries to convince Manny to consider adoption, but Manny’s mind is made up. Emma goes cold.

The next day at school, Manny is distracted in class as she prepares for the procedure, and Emma watches her silently. Craig corners Manny in the hallway, and she finally has to tell him she’s getting an abortion. Craig is a dick about it, and starts to yell at her, when Emma steps in.

For 2004, this actually feels very important. Emma says that despite her personal objections to abortion, it’s Manny’s choice what she wants to do with her own body. And it’s not for her or Craig or anyone to make Manny feel bad for that choice. I think the was the lowkey, unspoken majority opinion of the western world for years, and it’s nice to hear someone voice it. Nowadays, I hope it wouldn’t come with the moralistic caveat.

Manny and her mother go to the clinic. The clinician is as cool and explains the procedure and is very supportive and we love it! Manny gets her abortion.

But let’s talk about Liberty. She is still pining for JT unfortunately. The Grade 9s are paired up for a history project, and she’s hoping they get to work together. Instead she’s paired with Sean. She decides to instead invite JT to watch Three Stooges movies with her and JT shuts her down. He is not interested in her! She asks if it’s because of Manny, because if so, JT should get over it. JT says Liberty needs to get over him.

She heads to the Media Immersion Lab to work with Sean. These two are not a good match and don’t really like each other, but surprisingly bond. Amy dumped Sean so they’re sharing a sense of heartbreak. Liberty being Liberty, this blossoms into a crush. She shows up the next day in her best Grease “tell me about it stud” cosplay. Bless this silly girl.

Sean is panicked. He is not interested. He turns to JT for advice, and JT says there’s only one way out — brutal honesty. At lunch, Liberty brings Sean and his boys desserts, and he harshly shuts her down. Jay laughs about it, but someone else doesn’t! Remember how Jay has a random friend who never gets named? Apparently his name is actually Towerz and he seems annoyed that Jay and Sean are clowning Liberty.

Sean goes to Liberty and apologizes for being so harsh. She says it’s fine, boys just don’t like her. And he tells her that Towerz does. It’s time for Liberty to get her first beau.

Great ep. It shows its age, and it’s a little wooden, but I can’t help but admire the fact that at a time where this was really not discussed, Degrassi told the story of a girl deciding to get an abortion. The show is tender to Manny. I don’t think it’s judging her. Even her failure to use a condom is presented as stupid, but a stupid we have empathy for.

Ultimately, I think the show goes pretty far to get the viewer to a place of understanding, too. By the time Manny decides to get an abortion, it’s hard to imagine any other choice that would make sense for her. And the show uses Emma to fill in the last gaps. Maybe you wouldn’t make the same choice, but it’s Manny’s choice to make.

We need no further proof that this was a bold choice for the network than the fact that this show did not air in America for almost two years. It’s such a pivotal moment in one of the season’s biggest storylines, and we skip it! Poor American viewers don’t even know when Liberty was supposed to have gotten a boyfriend.

As we’ve approached some of these very special episodes, I’ve been carrying one particular worry. Much like with Pride, I worry that I’m going to discover that the episodes don’t center the very special character, but instead the more peripheral observing character. Instead of the story being about the gay friend, it’s about the straight person. Instead of it being about the rape victim, it slips into being about the men who defend her. I was nervous here, because of my own spotty memory, that this episode would end up being all about Craig.

It’s not! Thank goodness! Craig has a really interesting arc here, but the story of the show largely stays focused on Manny and her feelings. Craig is simply another source of pressure. I think that’s really good and really important.

But now I’m going to be the asshole and talk about Craig.

I’m very prone to fantasizing. It’s one of those qualities that makes me a better writer but also causes my grief. When I watch reality game shows, I put myself mentally in those game environments, despite a lack of desire to ever be on tv. I imagine elaborate lives for the people I ride the train with to work. It was worse when I was younger. Every time I met a man I had a crush on, I would imagine our first and fifth dates and what he’d be like meeting my parents and cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

It could get really painful for me. I’d eventually try to make the fantasies a reality and run into a deep disappointment. Rejection would sting more than it should. I wasn’t just getting the hit of the no, but the loss of this fantasy life I’d built for us in my mind. It was a problem completely of my own making, but that didn’t make it not a problem.

So I can feel for Craig. You can see his imagination working in this episode. What a beautiful dream life he builds himself with Manny and their child. What perfection his mind creates. He’s absolutely wrong to try to tell Manny to make a different choice, but I understand why he’s upset.

I think fantasy can be a really common product of childhood neglect and trauma. When there’s a fundamental, unmet need, we become desperate to fill it. Any situation that makes it seem like we can be wanted or stable or loved or nurtured wakes up that inner child who becomes desperate for it, and starts whispering “maybe this time.”

Since that child no longer lives in material realty, their desire explodes in the mind. They begin painting the picture of what it will look like to have that need met. And they’re devastated when it once again doesn’t happen. This is why we have to do the work to understand those unmet needs. And ultimately realize we are the only ones who can provide that love and care now.

Because projecting those needs and wants and fantasies outwards is a trap. My therapist loves talking to me about dreams, and one of her early lessons about the subconscious is that everything and everyone in your dream is you. When your ex, your best friend, or your elementary school math teacher pops up it is because they remind your subconscious of an aspect of yourself that you need or need to excise or want to emulate.

And I think this is true of our fantasies also. The moment where Craig says that Manny is his is chilling and unsettling, but I think it’s also laced with truth. The Manny in Craig’s fantasy family is his, because it’s not real. It’s creation that he invented. It is, like everything one creates, an expression of himself.

I try to stop myself from elaborate imaginings of futures with other people. I try to remember that this is an exercise that only leads to me being disappointed by the reality of who a person is. Part of maturing is realizing that messy, real people are always better than the fantasies in your head, and so avoiding disappointment in reality is important.

But I let myself fantasize about other things. This is such valuable information. I’ve learned to start reading my fantasies like a tarot card spread. What are you trying to tell me? What secrets of myself are waiting to be reflected back?