Season 3, Episode 14 - Accidents Will Happen, Part 1

Original Airdate - January 26th, 2004

We’ve arrived at the forbidden episode. The episode deemed inappropriate for American children. Must be pretty bad if we’ve let through episodes about domestic abuse, sexual assault, and self-harm. This episode tackles the scariest issue of all - a young girl making decisions for herself and her body!!

Degrassi has yet another new sports team - gymnastics. Coached by Ms. Hatzilakos, the team includes Emma, Hazel, Kendra, and big star Manny. They’re getting ready for a meet, but having some trouble. Kendra becomes the latest athlete to go down with the stomach flu. Meanwhile, Manny poses for her yearbook picture. Craig is the photographer. She refuses to smile for him. Good for her.

Ashley and Ellie talk some shit while they pass Manny in the hallway. Paige overhears and offers a surprising amount of support. She says this will blow over, and Manny should ease it along by doing a little damage control. Paige rules. Manny goes to Ashley and apologizes. She tries to make it clear that Craig was spinning lies to her. Ashley is sympathetic, but not quite ready to forgive.

In English class, Manny becomes the next Degrassi gymnast to run to the bathroom to throw up. But she puts on a happy face to head to practice anyway. Emma calls her out and threatens to tell Hatzilakos, but Manny begs her not to. She really needs this meet right now. It’s the only thing she has to look forward to. At practice, Manny crushes her beam routine. No stomach flu can stop her.

In the locker room, Emma gives Manny her flowers, and Manny expresses some concern over the fact that Simpson is currently in the hospital. It’s nice to see them coming back together, but it’s short lived. Hazel comes in, asking for a tampon, and Manny makes a comment how with all her training, her period has been very late. Emma says that the missed period and nausea are suggesting something. Manny tells her to mind her own business.

Manny storms off, but does double check her calendar and realize just how late she is. The next day, Craig catches her staring. She goes to the bathroom and turns to the one person who feels safe right now, Paige. She asks Paige how she knows if a guy used a condom, and Paige all but says “if you have to ask, he didn’t.” Paige encourages her to ask Craig directly.

It’s time for the meet. Manny’s mom is there! We’ve never met her before! Manny is so in her head and nervous that she falls off the beam. She’s so panicked that she times out and has to forfeit her chance to recover. She runs away, and Craig follows her. She confronts him, asking about condom use. Craig says that he took her saying “it’s okay” to mean that he didn’t need to use one because she was on the pill. Manny meant it as “it’s okay, we can have sex even though it’s my first time.” Boys are dumb!

She goes on a moody run and finds herself at the Simpson/Nelson house. This is a very good choice, because Christine is happy to support Manny through this. While they wait for the pregnancy test, Christine asks what Manny may want to do if she is pregnant. Manny can’t even think about it. She’s terrified about her parents finding out. She had a cousin get pregnant, and that cousin was sent to a religious school in the Philippines.

The timer goes off, and Manny realizes that she is going to have to make a decision. She’s pregnant. The next day, she tells Craig, expecting him to get angry at her, but Craig is actually excited. He’s thought about it, and he wants them to keep the baby and be a family. Manny looks unsure.

B story! Jimmy invites JT to a rap concert in Buffalo, and Toby is bummed he didn’t get the invite. Ever since Ashley dumped Jimmy, Jimmy has stopped being friends with Toby too. Toby expresses enthusiasm about the concert to Jimmy, but Jimmy can tell he’s faking it. Toby makes a new offer. Jimmy is worried about his math grade. Toby can hack into the school’s grading system and change it.

He recruits JT to help him connect his laptop to the system via ethernet cord, but his laptop is old, slow, and sticky. Instead of typing “88” as the grade, he types “8888,” and before he can fix it, Ms. Kwan walks up. JT pulls out the ethernet cord. Oops.

Jimmy asks Toby how it went, and Toby tells him the mistake. Jimmy flips and makes Toby use the instructor’s computer in the Media Immersion lab to fix it. Now. Toby hacks into Raditch’s account when Raditch himself walks in. At first, he’s not surprised to see Toby using the computer, and actually wanted to ask him for some IT support, but then, he sees that Toby is in his account. Toby freezes.

Toby spills everything, and both he and Jimmy are given Saturday detention. The same Saturday as the concert. Toby tries to apologize, but Jimmy says he’s a phony. No resolution here!

I like this episode, and have things to say about it, but I want to wait for tomorrow and Part 2, so we can talk about the whole thing at once. So instead, I am turning once again to my other Canadian television darling, Heated Rivalry.

For a show that didn’t have a ton of time to tell it’s story, I was surprised by how many great supporting characters and relationships Heated Rivalry explored. The relationship between Shane Hollander and his mother Yuna showed how her firm handed support inspired him and added to his fear of coming out. The relationship between Shane and Rose was a sweet fantasy of a beard becoming a needed friend. And yeah, I have a lot of feelings about Scott Hunter, but the SKip relationship is dynamic! More than the show seems to realize it is!

But by far, my favorite supporting character in Heated Rivalry was Svetlana. Portrayed by the truly stunning Ksenia Daniela Kharlamova, Svetlana is a childhood friend and former flame of Ilya Rozanov. We meet her in a flirty scene where she lets herself into Ilya’s home and they have sex. At first, she seems like yet another person on his roster, little more than proof of his rakish nature.

But we quickly come to learn that their relationship is much deeper. When Ilya is in Russia, it becomes clear that Svetlana is something of a safe harbor for him. Rescuing him from the conservative political machinations and deep pressure of their fathers. She’s a hockey obsessive, with a critical eye and expert analysis. These skills of observation lead her to notice the changes in Ilya before he feels them himself.

My favorite Svetlana moment comes in episode 5. Spoilers for Heated Rivalry, if for some reason you care about that and are still reading.

Shortly after Ilya and Shane have admitted to each other that they are not just hooking up and have real feelings, Ilya’s father dies. He travels back to Russia where he has to suffer through a stilted and uncomfortable funeral. Everything feels fake and he’s overwhelmed by the pressure. The worst comes from his brother, an addict who has providing the day to day care for their father while Ilya pays the bills.

They have a huge fight, and Svetlana steps in at the perfect moment to keep them from coming to blows. She comforts Ilya in the aftermath. The short scene is so loaded with history and love. She tidies him up. He tells her he doesn’t deserve her, and expresses his love for her. With care, and without jealousy, she shares his sentiments. But recognizes that it’s not the same as it is with “Jane,” the name in Ilya’s phone for Shane. They share a kiss.

The scene lasts maybe a minute, but it captivated me. It’s clear that their connection runs incredibly deeply for both of them. It’s hard for me to think of a word for their love except romantic. We’re watching two people who are undeniably connected, and fully in touch with that connection. They are special to each other, they care about each other. But they know they are not meant for each other.

I feel like a lesser show would have made her more jealous or heartbroken. But I think Ilya seems sadder in this scene than she does. I see in her an incredible amount of security. She knows she loves him. She knows he loves her. She knows that connection is deeper and more personal than what’s typically described by friendship. She even knows there’s physical attraction. But she also knows they are not going to be a romantic couple.

And what moves me about it is that she doesn’t seem to see that as a loss, something she’s lacking, or somewhere she’s failed. There’s an incredible power to me in the way she accepts their relationship for exactly what it is. And she allows and welcomes every facet of it, even though it doesn’t fit neatly in the platonic or romantic box.

The other aspect of this that felt so fresh and beautiful to me is that it wasn’t coupled with the idea that they needed to distance themselves from each other. Past Lives is one of my favorite films, and I love the gut-wrenching conclusion where the characters acknowledge the deep connection and importance they hold in each others life, but understand that that relationship has reached its conclusion. This “you’ve changed me profoundly, but it’s not us, so now we part” trope is one that I like and think has a lot of reality to it.

But here it’s different. Svetlana and Ilya choose to be exactly this to each other. Deeply connected, in love in a lot of ways, but not together. They’re able to overcome any feeling of longing or lack from not fitting as a couple, and accept what they are. Hae Sung has to stay away from Nora because he cannot do that. He wants more, so must leave. I felt so moved by the idea of finding the confidence to choose to stay.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the lines between platonic friendship and romantic relationship. I’ve encountered a number of people who have what they call platonic life partners, people who in every way but sexually they enjoy a deeply committed relationship. I’ve also been thinking about the evergreen question about whether it’s good or bad that gay men make out or even hook up with their friends (it’s good as long as you are good at talking about your feelings, but that’s a different essay).

One of the places I’m landing is that these lines are far murkier than they sometimes seem. I think some truly beautiful human experiences can be unlocked by separating yourself from the need to clearly define everything. While I think we all need security in where we stand with each other, I want to work in my own life to create that security through an expression of feelings, not through embracing a label or definition.

I want friends I kiss and friends I don’t. Former boyfriends who I love and commune with even though I know that I shouldn’t be with them, and friends that I’ve never gone there with but connect as deeply as I do with a partner. I want these things to morph and shift and grow. Always grow.

Romance is a genre built on fantasy. We yearn for the one-of-a-kind passion that binds the leads. We see people change in huge, bold ways because of love. The hot man on tv is someone we can be with. The mother acknowledges the way she inadvertently caused us pain.

Of the many fantasies of this show, Svetlana was the one I found myself clinging the most to. I want to have the courage to love someone that much and that deeply and support them in more committed connections with people who aren’t me. I want to express that love with unapologetic words, physical affection, and reliable presence. I hope I can be that brave one day.