Season 3, Episode 11 and 12 - Holiday

Original Airdate - December 17th, 2003

Who doesn’t love a good Christmas special? Bummer that this one is hitting your inboxes a month late, but I say let’s keep the good holiday vibes going? I’m sure we’ll have a great time. Let’s see, this episode involves— Craig being a shit and two adult characters. Great.

I’m exaggerating. I actually quite enjoy this episode, but buckle in. A lot happens here. Our A and B stories are pretty intermingled, so let’s summarize it that way too.

It’s shortly before Christmas and Joey and Syndey are hosting a big tree trimming party. Both Jeremiah men have their girlfriends there, and everyone hypes up both Sydney and Ashley. They finish putting up the tree and everyone thinks it’s perfect, except Sydney. She suggests a couple changes, nitpicks even, but Caitlyn has to admit they make a difference.

The phone rings. Craig answers. It’s Manny. Ashley is literally at the party. Awkward! Craig lies and pretends it’s Spinner before hanging up. His secret fling with Manny is becoming more of a challenge.

Joey asks Caitlyn about her holiday plans and Caitlyn is being a bit of a Scrooge. She’s single, her mom is traveling, Caitlyn will be spending the holiday alone. Joey is concerned, but Caitlyn is low key. She’ll make the best of it. She’s going to a fancy spa in Montreal. Christine makes a toast to Joey and Sydney. Caitlyn seems uncomfortable.

The next day, Sydney puts the finishing touches on Angie’s costume for her holiday ice skating pageant. Sydney can’t come because of work, which Joey is bummed about, but Sydney’s planned a shopping trip to make up for it. Craig makes a snide comment about money solving problems. Caitlyn is able to attend the pageant and she and Joey have a nice time.

Craig also has a nice time, especially because he spots Manny. She’s an ice skater as well and is helping the younger kids. Craig slips away from Joey to see her and make out a bit, when Spinner of all people catches him. Spinner, because he sucks, is like wow Craig you’re such a stud. He gets slight points for saying Manny is sweet, but also hot, like ice cream, but hot. Which is funny. Craig feels emboldened.

The Jeremiahs and Caitlyn head home. Caitlyn admits to being a little jealous of Sydney. She’s a career woman and is building a great relationship. Joey tries to psych her up and there’s a vibe. So much so that Joey burns himself. Sydney walks in and definitely clocks what’s going on.

Craig meets Manny in his garage and Manny gives him a Christmas gift, a handmade scarf. Manny tells Craig that it’s time for him to break up with Ashley. Craig says he isn’t ready to choose, and Manny says that, in that case, he kind of already did. If only it had ended there!

There’s a big multicultural talent show performance thing happening at Degrassi and Craig and Ashley are planning to sing an original song together. Craig is clearly in his head while he practices. He breaks a guitar string when he sees a sulking Manny. Ashley can clearly tell something is off, but can’t quite clock it.

Craig tries to corner Manny and talk, but Manny starts crying. She tells Craig she loves him and she doesn’t understand how he can’t feel the same, or realize that Ashley doesn’t love him as much as she does. This is a wild argument on her part, but everyone here is a teenager, so Craig is moved.

Meanwhile in adult land, Sydney brings Caitlyn flowers at work. She’s trying to make nice and make friends. She asks some probing questions about Caitlyn’s love life, not quite satisfied that Caitlyn has no romantic prospects. She asks Caitlyn to babysit while Joey comes to her work holiday party, and Caitlyn gladly accepts.

I want to take a brief moment to talk about Sydney’s portrayal in this episode. I think Sydney is a perfectly lovely person. She is intense and type A, but it rarely comes across as bad to me. But I can tell the show wants me to think she’s a little much. With where things are going, I think they felt the need to make Sydney a little unlikable. I don’t think it was necessary and I don’t even think it’s effective.

Caitlyn and Angie make crafts for Angie to give as Christmas gifts when Craig swings by home. He takes the moment to ask Caitlyn for advice. If he’s with a girl as great as Ashley, shouldn’t he feel lucky? Caitlyn tells him it’s not about “luck,” it’s about being with the right person.

Craig takes this as validation of his feelings for Manny. He goes to the ice rink and says he chooses her. They kiss. So romantic! But he does need to close the loop with Ash. He heads over, but before he can dump her, Ashley gives him his Christmas gift. She inherited a beautiful vintage guitar from her grandfather and wants Craig to have it. Instead of breaking up, Craig tells her he loves her. Messy!

Surely things aren’t as messy with the adults right? Caitlyn hangs out with Angie and lets her put on her pageant dress for fun. They fall asleep on the couch when Joey and Sydney come home. Joey felt very awkward at the party. Joey thinks Caitlyn and Angie are precious, but Sydney is pissed. She is mad that Caitlyn let Angie wear the dress. She could have ruined it!

Caitlyn heads out. She feels like a messy screw up compared to Sydney’s perfectionist poise. Joey follows her, assuring her that this is no big deal. Joey’s reassurance pulls them right back into the vibe and they kiss. OOPS. Caitlyn rushes off.

As we move into part two, I want to mention that almost every cast member does show up somewhere in this episode with a little moment. Some of my favorites - Marco is playing the accordion in the talent show. Toby keeps mentioning Hanukkah in very weird stilted ways. Hazel and Paige talk about Ramadan which is fully two months away. The Grade 10s pool their money to buy Simpson a wig, but wigs are expensive so they get him a costume Elvis wig which he sweetly wears to the talent show.

Anyway, back to business. It’s the next day at school and Craig is loving his new guitar. Manny sees him with Ashley and is confused and pissed. She makes an excuse to pull him aside, and Craig straight up lies. He tells Manny that he did break up with Ashley, but they’re still doing the talent show together, so he didn’t tell Ashley about Manny yet. He promises to do so after the show and Manny accepts that.

Caitlyn spends the night spiraling and then needs to talk to someone, so she finds Christine at the mall, getting baby Jack a picture with Santa. They gossip and the photographer rudely takes a terrible picture. I know you’re busy but let them get out of the shot!

Christine gives Caitlyn some pretty solid advice. Caitlyn’s emotions are high and she should capture them in a letter now, but she shouldn’t send it yet. Keep it, calm down, and read it again. If she still wants to act on it then, she can. Caitlyn writes the letter, and then does something super relatable to me personally.

After she’s done, she’s like this letter rocks, prints it, and puts it in an envelope. She walks it to Joey’s house, slides it through the mail shoot, and instantly panics. WHY did she do that? She tries to get the letter back through the slot, fails, and decides the only option is to break into the house.

Craig holiday shops for both girls. For Ashley, he buys a vintage band t shirt. For Manny, he gets a pink sweater and an ice skating charm bracelet. This will be important.

Joey and Sydney arrive home to find Caitlyn hanging out of the kitchen window. I think she’s been there for a minute, because she has a lie locked and loaded. She says she left her palm pilot, and couldn’t get a hold of Joey. She needed it, so she tried to break in and got stuck.

Sydney sends Angie and Joey to look upstairs, but really wants to corner Caitlyn. Sydney unloads on her. She knows that Caitlyn has feelings for Joey, and Caitlyn’s constant presence is getting to be a little much. Sydney and Joey are together, and Sydney thinks the Jeremiahs need someone like her, not someone like Caitlyn. She says Caitlyn needs to back off of the family. Craig hears this, and finds the letter, but Caitlyn just grabs it from him as she walks out. She rips it up.

Craig and Ashley are hanging out in the chilly garage. Craig heads inside to get them warm beverages, and Ashley takes the change to snoop. She finds Craig’s gift for her, but also finds the sweater and charm bracelet. She doesn’t think much of it, for now.

Joey visits Caitlyn at work. He tries to talk about the kiss, but Caitlyn is very distant. All is well. They’re friends. And Caitlyn is going on her spa trip that evening. Craig gives Manny her gifts and Manny loves them. She puts the bracelet on.

Everyone is getting ready for the talent show, and Manny is doing makeup. It’s Ashley’s turn in the chair, and she admits to Manny that she’s a little nervous. She doesn’t normally get nervous performing, but it’s different performing with Craig. Manny, misunderstanding, tells her to distance herself emotionally from Craig, which Ashley thinks is weird. She starts studying Manny and notices the bracelet.

She asks Manny where she got it, and Manny says it’s from a boy she’s been dating for a while. Ashley stops beating around the bush. It was Craig, wasn’t it? Manny tries to apologize, it’s must be hard for Ashley accepting that Craig moved on right away to Manny, but Ashley reveals she and Craig are still together.

Joey is almost late for the show. He freely admits he was seeing Caitlyn, even though Sydney makes a face. Ashley and Craig go on, and Ashley doesn’t sing a word. Craig stops and asks her what’s up, she slaps him, and storms off. Good for her.

He chases her down, and she tells him she knows about Manny. She’s heartbroken, and she takes back her guitar. Manny comes up next. She tells Craig his lies were exposed and gives him back the bracelet. Joey’s turn to come be a parent. He asks Craig what happened, and Craig spills.

Joey says he can relate. He cheated on Caitlyn, and he regrets it to this day. But life is long and he says Craig will get over it. Craig laughs. Wild for Joey to say that when he’s still clearly not over Caitlyn. Craig says that even Sydney can see it, and Joey asks if she’s said something.

After the show, Joey pulls Sydney aside. He asks if Sydney told Caitlyn to stay away. Sydney, like a boss, admits it. She says she’s felt like she’s competing emotionally with Caitlyn for their whole relationship. She loves Joey, but she thinks Joey loves Caitlyn, not her. She asks Joey to tell her she’s wrong or end things. They break up.

Caitlyn is getting ready to fly away when her phone rings. It’s Joey! The Jeremiahs are at the airport. She gets off to talk to them (it’s a private flight), and Joey asks her to stay. He tells her he loves her. They kiss. She decides to stay. Yay! Happy ending! For one of the Jeremiahs at least. Craig watches them, feeling sad and alone.

The love triangle. A classic storytelling tool. And one that is seeped in compulsory monogamy. I get it, “you can have it all” doesn’t feel like a story with as high stakes as “pick one." But I actually think this episode can be used to demonstrate one of my personal storytelling theories. That the option of polyamory can actually make a love triangle story more dynamic.

The first thing, this episode features a great love triangle where polyamory is not a relevant or interesting option! The issue with Joey, Sydney, and Caitlyn is not that Joey cannot choose between these two women. It’s that Joey is not being honest with himself about what he really wants, and Caitlyn is not being clear that she’s available to him.

It’s not really a triangle at all, it’s a love story where another person is unlucky enough to be caught in the middle. I love this kind of story. Very human. When we’re in love with someone that feels unavailable, we often do involve other people. And the romantic fantasy that the unavailable person is actually totally available is fun. It’s the same thing Heated Rivalry did with Rose.

There is not a reasonable world where Joey pursues a relationship with both Sydney and Caitlyn. Joey doesn’t love both women. Joey needs to realize that his relationship with Sydney is nice, but not emotionally fulfilling so he can clear the way for the person he really wants.

But Craig is in a different situation. Craig seems to have genuine deep feelings for both of these girls. Craig’s problem isn’t so much that he’s not being honest with his own feelings, Craig’s problem is that he’s in a situation where he has to pick one and he can’t.

Okay, Craig’s problem is also that he’s lying. In fact, this fantasy realm where this story is about polyamory has to start with a Craig who is honest about where his head is at with both women.

Let’s play fanfiction. Ashley and Craig get in a big fight at Paige’s birthday party. Craig storms off and there’s Manny. They hook up. Craig spends the weekend confused and unsure. And then Monday rolls around. Manny is looking at him with heart eyes, Ashley apologizes, and Craig comes clean. He tells Ashley what happened, and tells them both he’s unsure what to do. He wants to be with them both.

Ashley would probably be upset. Okay, they’d had a big fight, but that doesn’t exactly give him the green light to run into Manny’s arms. But Craig reassures her that he does in fact love her. He says the big words and finds some way to show it with his actions. Ashley starts to understand that Craig’s feelings for Manny are not an absence of feelings for her.

Manny probably goes the other way. She’s so desperate for Craig’s affection early on, that she instantly agrees to being one of his two girlfriends. Maybe the fight with Emma at the rave has a little more teeth. Emma is being judgmental, saying there’s no way that Manny can be happy with her boyfriend having another girlfriend. It’s close-minded, but maybe picking up on something real.

Because Manny is getting more insecure. She’s starting to feel like “the other one.” She’s increasingly piling on her gestures and overtures, largely based around her newfound power of hotness. That makes things worse. She feels judged by other people.

Because other people definitely have opinions. Spinner can still think Craig’s a stud. Paige thinks Ashley isn’t being protective enough of her man, letting him run around with fun slutty Manny, and Emma thinks Manny is acting like, and letting Craig treat her like, an unserious person. Manny starts to worry that she’s the casual relationship while Ashley is the real emotional one. Ashley starts to worry that she’s the ball and chain while Manny is the one that Craig is actually attracted to.

And of course, Christmas brings it all to a head. The rituals of Christmas are built for monogamy, and Manny and Ashley feel called into constant comparison. Maybe Manny starts it, but they draw the line on Craig. This isn’t working, he has to choose.

But how can he? Craig is genuinely interested in both of them. He loves the relationship he has with both of them. They all flounder trying to navigate the situation, Craig starts lying to make them all feel better, and it all blows up because they’re teenagers who lack the maturity to deal with the situation.

Love triangles can be a bit of a problematic trope, because they often remove power from the two people the center of the triangle is trying to pick between. That happens here. Ashley is kept totally in the dark about what’s going on, and Manny is in the middle of an insecurity arc that sees her constantly buying back her demand that Craig choose her or leave her alone.

Spinner telling Craig he’s a stud with all of the power feels gross because it’s kind of true. It sucks! Letting everyone into the story would let each of our teen characters be equal participants in the dynamic. And in this particular case, it would feed each of their individual character arcs from before and outside these relationships.

Craig acts first and thinks later so gets them all into a poly dynamic they aren’t ready for. Ashley is constantly balancing her intensity with being a fun teenager and suddenly feels like the parent in this situation. Manny is loving her ability to attract men but is unsure if she’s setting herself up for objectification. All of these arcs could have played at once.

I learned two important things in polyamory that I’m going to bring into every relationship I’m in going forward, especially monogamous ones. The first is that relationships require deep honesty. Pretending that you don’t have an attraction to someone else in your life when you do doesn’t help anything. Growing to a place where you can tell your partner what you’re feeling, even when you know you’re not going to act on those feelings, removes judgment and creates intimacy.

The second is that comparing your relationship to other people’s relationships is a fucking trap. They laugh more together, they spend more social time together, they go on more trips, they have more sex. Our brains are constantly trying to trick us into evaluating ourselves against other people. It is a mistake to do on a personal level and poison for a relationship. It will suck all of the genuine connection out of your dynamic, not to mention your ability, and responsibility, to define a relationship structure that works for the people in it.

Within a love triangle story like this one, we are given the exact opposite message. Relationship success is about comparison. It is about looking at all of your options and picking the one you like more.

It’s probably for the best that this situation blew up and left Craig alone. He would have spent his entire relationship with Manny or Ashley comparing every negative moment to what would have happened with the other girl. I get why Ashley and Manny are upset. But if you ask me, all three of them dodged a bullet.