Season 1, Episode 4 - Eye of the Beholder

Original Airdate - November 11th, 2001

Degrassi Community School is having its first ever nighttime dance and Terri doesn’t want to go. She’s fat, and she doesn’t think anyone will want to dance with a fat girl. Her father assures her that she’s beautiful and that people would be lucky to have her company, but Terri’s mind is made up.

Will you allow me some quick commentary since the essay is about something else? I was very nervous to get into 00s body stuff, but I was pleasantly surprised. Let’s start with the negative. As a rule, I don’t think you should tell anyone else whether they should call themselves fat or not. But Terri is a fictional character, so I feel okay saying that I think she is fat only in the way that plus sized contestants of America’s Next Top Model were fat. To be blunt, and maybe a little controversial, if this was going to be a character’s whole story, I wish she was fatter.

That said, I’m not mad about the way the story is told here. Only one person tries to assure Terri she’s not fat, no one tries to suggest that Terri should change her weight, and everyone — boys included — thinks Terri is worthy of attention no matter what size she is. I doubt we’ll stay in a good place when it comes to body size stories, but for now, I’m happy.

Okay back to the episode. As I just teased, there is a boy who definitely wants to dance with Terri, and that’s Spinner. He’s even pretending to need her geography notes just to fake an interaction. Ashley and Paige both clock his crush, even if Terri doesn’t believe it. But Paige has a crush on Spinner herself and wants to clear out the competition.

Ashley is determined to get her friend to the dance, so convinces Terri to let Ashley dress her up to get a little confidence. Paige invites herself along to launch her scheme.

Meanwhile in Grade 7, Emma is frustrated. Manny’s parents won’t let her attend an evening dance, and JT and Toby are skipping, pretending they’re not interested to avoid embarrassment. Besides, JT has alternate plans. He’s gotten links to some free porn sites and wants to check them out while Toby’s dad and his girlfriend are out of the house.

But there’s a new grade 7 catching Emma’s eye, Sean Cameron rides his motorcycle into the series and into Emma’s heart. The bad boy is a mysterious loner and she must find out more. She’s watching him at lunch when Jimmy approaches. This isn’t really important, but I must tell you that Jimmy enters this scene dribbling a basketball, another student comes up and takes the basketball away, and Jimmy just shrugs and keeps walking up to Sean. Jimmy tries to reminisce but Sean walks away without engaging. Emma is intrigued.

Ashley and Paige do a great job dressing up Terri, and though she’s feeling nervous, she’s actually finding her confidence. Ashley needs to head off to the dance for final set up, but Paige asks Terri to hang back so Paige can fix her own make up. Once Ashley is gone, Paige tells Terri the best way to calm her nerves is with a drink. Paige gets Terri good and drunk while convincing her that the best way to get her man is to be direct and aggressive.

Emma shows up solo, and again, it’s not important, but there is an incredible moment where Ashley is criticizing Liberty about the ticket booth sign when Emma walks up. Ashley says the ticket price “goes towards the Degrassi Community food bank, although you wouldn’t know it from the sign” right in front of Liberty’s face. Incredible work.

Terri and Paige stumble into the dance and Ashley can instantly tell something is up. She tries to cover for her friend, not just for her own good, but also so Raditch doesn’t find out and keep them from future nighttime dances. Terri finds Spinner and drags him onto the dance floor. She’s aggressive and dancing like a drunk. Not a great look. Spinner is kind of going with it, kind of unsure. But the nausea hits and Terri runs off to throw up. Paige swoops in on Spinner, feeling a little guilty about the whole thing since Terri told her she was such a good friend.

Sean also shows up. Emma is hovering alone watching him when she sees Jimmy approach. He invites Sean to the after party — it’s grade 8s only but they’ll make an exception for Sean. Sean shoves him against the wall and tells him to leave him alone. Turns out, Sean is repeating Grade 7, and Jimmy’s presence is just a reminder of his failure. Emma swoops in and asks Sean for a dance which he accepts. This ship is sailing.

JT and Toby face only minor obstacles getting into the porn sites, but get caught by Toby’s caretakers. The following Monday, at school, they willingly recount all of this to Manny and Emma, including how Toby’s dad and his girlfriend made them look at porn together while discussing the objectification of the performers. Emma and Manny call them losers.

Terri is feeling mortified, but at least Raditch didn’t catch her. Spinner asks if she’s okay, but also returns her notes. He’s going to use Paige’s notes from now on. The whole thing could be worse, but it’s hard for Terri to see the bright side right now.

The kids are consistently mean to their friends in this episode. We’ve covered Paige but it doesn’t stop there. Jimmy seems intent on rubbing Sean’s nose in the fact that he was held back. Emma and Manny judge JT and Toby for not wanting to go to the dance, and for their perfectly normal interest in seeing pictures of boobies. Ashley and Liberty, partners in student government, are constantly spatting over who is more punctual and who can make a better sign.

I’m not judging any of them for any of this. I love this shit. This, to me, is middle school. Middle school is a special time where we are all biologically incapable of being nice to anyone.

I was an absolute terror. My weapon of choice was bonkers, purposeless lies. I loved seeing what I could make people believe. I made up elaborate excuses for why I didn’t do homework that I actually did do. I told one friend that another didn’t invite her to a pool party just to see if they would fight. My youngest brother was born in late March and I told my friends the baby died as “an April fool’s joke.”

Thinking about this, I must say that I’m sorry to every person who knew me at this time. And then apologize again to anyone who was my friend. It is wild to imagine someone treating me that way and still considering them a friend.

But this is the Lovecraftian magic of middle school. Everyone is at their very worst, so you either learn to forgive each other or commit to being alone. Having friends in middle school can feel lonely enough, and so we all power through. I would never say that middle schoolers are forgiving people, but they certainly know how to forget. At least until they need ammo for their next fight.

I am sure next episode all will be forgotten. Emma, Manny, JT, and Toby will remain friends despite the girls’ constant annoyance at the boys. Paige and Terri will make up. Everyone will continue to like Spinner despite the fact that he endlessly harasses everyone in grade 7.

This is not a complaint. One of the things I like most about this show is that it captures this pivotal aspect of the middle school experience.