Season 3, Episode 19 - It’s Raining Men

Original Airdate - March 15th, 2004

Marco rolls up to school, excited to show his friends the posters he made for the upcoming dance. The Dance is sort of a four episode mini-arc that’s going to carry us through the end of the season. Marco is the chair of the dance committee. He chose a Bollywood theme, and Spinner is about to say that’s a stupid gay choice, but then he notices Marco’s dad.

Marco’s father is very Italian and doesn’t know Marco is gay. Everyone awkwardly talks around it while Mr. Del Rossi asks about finding Marco a date for the dance. Marco stares at Dylan. Spinner clocks this.

This episode is about Spinner again. I guess this is growth because Spinner is less explicitly homophobic in this episode, but he’s still kind of homophobic. I don’t understand why he’s a big player in all of the gay eps!

Marco tells Dylan about the awkward conversation with his dad and let’s slip that he likes someone. Dylan is picking up on Marco’s crush and tries to slyly ask him to a horror movie, but Marco says he’s too spooked by zombies and declines. In reality, Marco is spooked by gay.

Spinner asks Marco about his crush on Dylan, and Marco admits that he doesn’t know how to play it. Spinner surprises Marco by expressing a desire to help him get his man. Spinner says Marco should stop being a coward and ask Dylan out. But when Marco approaches Dylan, another gay guy, Tom, stops by to give him a mix CD. Marco thinks he’s missed his shot.

In science class, Ms. Hatzilakos talks about bees, which Marco is afraid of. That’s relevant later. Relevant now is Spinner saying Marco can’t give up and has to take care of Tom. Marco is like, no that’s silly. But Spinner is an ally now, so he goes to Dylan and says that Tom has scabies. Then, when Tom walks by, Spinner hugs Dylan, so Tom will stay away.

Dylan clocks this and gets mad at Spinner. He wants to know what this is really about. Spinner says that Dylan should ask Marco out, and Dylan says he doesn’t think Marco is ready. Spinner tries to reassure him, but Dylan correctly points out that Spinner doesn’t know what it’s like being gay. Still, Dylan decides to go for it, and approaches Marco about the movie again. This time, he’s clear that it’s a date. Marco accepts.

Here’s the thing. Marco isn’t ready. This boy is SO insecure. The whole episode, he keeps talking about how Dylan couldn’t possibly like him because he’s too short and too fem and doesn’t know about sports. Even as Dylan says he likes Marco, Marco can’t believe it. It’s exhausting. Marco needs to have a stronger sense of self before entering a relationship! Dylan is asking him out for the second time, and Marco is like, how could this be?? Dylan should have listened to his gut.

Marco goes to Spinner’s house to get Spinner’s sports-loving perspective on his outfit for the date. Spinner is helpful, and, fine, I guess it’s sweet. Dylan picks Marco up in his cool convertible. Marco is wearing a stupid hat, and Dylan clearly hates it. Marco gets in his head about it. Then he sees a bee and freaks out and jumps out of the car. Dylan thinks all of this is cute.

Marco acts mortified at dinner (every Degrassi date is dinner at the mall food court and a movie). Dylan tries to chill him out by saying he has an irrational fear of killer whales. But killer whales are genuinely scary!! But Marco feels comfortable. In the movie, he hesitates to hold Dylan’s hand, and Dylan says it’s okay.

But when they leave the movie, they run into Marco’s extremely Italian parents! They drag Marco and Dylan along to dinner at the Italian restaurant that is, I guess, attached to the mall. The Del Rossis ask about dating girls, and then Dad says homophobic stuff about the effeminate waiter. Dylan excuses himself. Momma Del Rossi says Papa has a big mouth and he says, “put-a the pasta in your big mouth.”

The next day, Marco is sure that there will be no second date, but he runs into Dylan at the Dot on the way to school. Dylan had a good time. He only left to save Marco from discomfort. Dylan kisses Marco and they’re going to keep dating because I guess Dylan is fine to be constantly reassuring someone! This all feels divorced from the uncomfortable reality the show usually plays in!

Meanwhile, JT was in a commercial for French Fries. He wants to host a party to show everyone, but mostly Manny, the premiere. He convinces Toby to host and invites tons of people, even though Toby asks him to keep it small. I don’t know why he does this? Why would he think more people would make Manny more likely to attend? Or he wants her validation but also everyone’s? Unclear to me.

At Spirit Squad practice, JT asks Manny to come. Manny isn’t sure. 1. Ashley’s house. 2. People talk shit about her all of the time at school, and she doesn’t need more of that at the party. JT promises to protect her and says Ashley won’t be there. Manny agrees to come.

At the party, Manny is kind of uncomfortable. The commercial airs, and JT is a weird “gangster” character who keeps calling his dog “dawg.” Everyone laughs. The next day, Jay and Sean talk shit about him, but Manny comforts him. She says the commercial was bad, but JT wasn’t bad in it. He should feel proud. She also gently teases him. They’re growing closer.

I love watching people date on tv. I like a soap with lots of intermixed relationships. But sometimes, the characters are too defined. They’re always the perfect amount of aware of themselves, or the show is so aware of them. Sometimes I like the real psychos. For those, I must turn to reality tv.

Dating and romantic relationships are really challenging things. When we grow that intimately connected to other people, all of our baggage comes to the surface. We show who we really are, whether we even know who we are ourselves. Even when we’re refusing to be vulnerable, we are exposed.

It’s a fascinating thing to point a camera at. Largely because of this lack of intention or knowledge around the situation. When it comes to dating, there is no way to keep from revealing information about yourself. The people on tv who manage to tell us nothing get nowhere. They don’t make connections, they leave the show.

So what we’re left with is a group of people exposing themselves to our scrutiny. A beautiful symphony of human nature. And the best part is, in modern day shows, these are all social media influencers. They think they’re so good at protecting their image. Then they surrender control to other producers and editors, and magic gets made.

You see some of the most fascinating television characters in the world of reality dating. The villain still reigns supreme here. Because the villain doesn’t have to be mean. She can be insecure and quiet, or he can be too bold and too invested when he’s not the only choice. Plus they’re all hot!

The hardest thing about reality dating shows is men. Men, unfortunately, are mostly bad. Especially hot men. Especially hot men that are willing to participate in reality tv. It is an unfortunate chore to watch some of the most beautiful and funny women you will ever see arguing over a guy that reminds you of the asshole you went to high school with.

People on dating shows are so funny. Nothing makes you stupid quite like a crush. Add to it that many of these people have never been in a situation where they wanted someone who didn’t want them back, and insanity erupts. They don’t know how to behave. In the unfortunately rare queer dating show, it’s almost the opposite. People used to the scarcity mindset have an abundance of choice and lose their minds.

But for me, this is not a cynical endeavor. This is not about watching people suffer and laughing at their pain. It’s not about hating people and seeing them cry. It’s about loving them and watching them flirt. It’s about the joy of seeing an incredible woman yell at a man who deserves it. It’s about the rare moments where people find love and you can really believe in it.

Anyone who appreciates human nature can find something to enjoy in the world of dating shows. I’ll conclude today with my recommendations one where to begin.

I’m not saying that everyone should watch dating shows, but I am saying they’re way better than most people think. I think they have a reputation for artificiality, but I don’t think that’s fair. The fact that none of the couples from these shows stay together is not proof that they aren’t real, it’s proof that they capture something different than committed love. They capture blind, messy passion and the wild things that makes people do. I, for one, think that’s art.